The "Boomer"ang Effect

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room:

Despite what you may think, most baby boomers who transition out of a C-Suite role after age 60 are not “retiring”…  Sure, it’s easy to label it that. The indicators are all there -- they are dangerously close to traditional retirement age. They are exiting their current role.  They have achieved a high level of success so they have clearly ‘earned the right’ to kick back and enjoy life… It’s easy to conclude they must be ‘retiring’! 

But they’re not!

They are what I call “Boomer”angs.  They exit one role and start another. Their new role may be in a different line of work, at a different pace, or under different circumstances, but it is clearly work!

These boomers know they have a lot left in them to give.  And they vehemently reject the word ‘retirement’ to describe their transition -- and I don’t blame them. They want to continue contributing in significant ways – growing an organization, adding value, and for many, doing paid work.

When word starts spreading that retirement is on someone’s horizon, doors start to close and people begin to think of them differently… or worse… not at all.

We may hesitate to recommend them for a position because we secretly suspect they don’t really want to work anymore. We may encourage them to travel and rib them about spending time on the golf course, refusing to take their job search seriously. We may simply forget about them because they are no longer the CEO of xyz, Inc. or the owner of abc company. This has the effect of unnecessarily diminishing their strong market place brand, harming their credibility and limiting the opportunities they will seriously be considered for.  

We don’t mean to do it, of course! But it happens. The value these C-Suite professionals bring is worth more than we can afford to throw away. The wisdom and experience they bring is sorely needed to boost our economy and develop the next generation of tail-end boomers, Gen X’ers and Millennial leaders. Let’s make it easy for C-Suite early boomers to seek and find that next role, the one that they can embrace, that plays to their strengths, ignites their passion and contributes in meaningful ways. 

Take action – help the C-Suite boomer’ang’s you know and love transition well! And if you’re the C-Suite boomerang, and you’re not ready to retire, share this post and let’s get a real conversation going.

Let’s not just be aware of this trend. Let’s change it.

abby@leadershiplegacygroup.com

Be Strong Enough to Say You’re Sorry

And make sure you mean it.I’m sorry. I apologize.

Most of us find these two words so difficult to say, and even more difficult to deliver with meaning. To hide our discomfort we may over-dramatize our message. Or we infuse a hint of sarcasm to hold on to our need to be right. We make a series of excuses, blaming someone or something else. We act defensively, protecting our ego from the pain of having hurt someone else — or just the pain of being wrong.

I recently read the suggestion that “I’m sorry you feel that way” serves as a panacea for all kinds of apologies. I absolutely disagree. Such an apology deflects the apologizer's responsibility for the real issue and focuses instead on the person who was already wronged. The apologizer sounds self-righteous and self-serving as he washes his hands of the issue.

Jennifer Thomas, co-author of The Five Languages of Apology, writes that when issuing an apology, sincerity is key. To show that you mean it, you should use at least two of the five languages of apology Thomas describes in her book: expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, genuinely repenting, and requesting forgiveness.

Defuse Workplace Conflicts

Sometimes apologies are appropriate when we find ourselves in conflict with a perceived winner and loser — a common workplace scenario. Saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” in those situations would simply reinforce the winner/loser mentality. Don’t do it!

Barry and Tom were having a disagreement over how to best manage a critical company project. Barry wanted to invest in hiring a consultant to come in and do the work. Tom wanted to put one of his project managers on it and invest in software and equipment. After rounds and rounds of discussion and debate, Barry told Tom he was going ahead and hiring the consultant. After all, he was the boss and responsible for the final decision. “I don’t think that’s the best approach,” Tom said. “The consultant is not going to be able to learn our system fast enough to finish the project by the deadline.” Barry’s response? “I’m sorry you feel that way,” as he hired the consultant the next day. Boom! Tom was dismissed and, some would argue, disrespected.

What if Barry had replied, “I’m sorry, Tom. Not this time. I have made my decision. I am going to hire the consultant.” In that short apology, Barry expresses regret and accepts responsibility. He recognizes he and Tom disagree, but he does not disrespect Tom for his opinion. It simply conveys that Barry has made a decision and is moving forward, as is his right as the boss.

Saving Key Relationships

From time to time, we deeply hurt someone and need to apologize for the pain we have caused. Take the case of Karen and Mike. They had been married for nearly seven years, but over the past few years the two had drifted apart. Mike was consumed with his business, working many late nights and weekends. Karen threw herself into raising their children, home schooling them while juggling part-time administrative work. After a few years, Karen told Mike she was sick of his long hours and wanted him to shut the business down and take a more reasonable job. Mike said no way, so Karen told him their marriage was doomed and she needed to get out. Mike’s answer? “I’m sorry you feel that way.” With those few words, he dismissed his wife and her feelings. Soon after, Karen filed for divorce.

What if Mike had instead said, “I’m sorry I have been gone so much”: expressing regret. And “I haven’t done a very good job managing a reasonable work-life balance, and that has left a lot of the burden of raising our kids and managing the household on you”: accepting responsibility. And finally, “Let’s spend some time together this weekend to figure out a plan that works for both of us”: making restitution. Their marriage would likely have a very different, more positive outcome.

Offering a sincere apology is hard work. It often requires vulnerability and awareness of the impact we’ve had on someone else. Don’t dismiss others with “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Take responsibility for the role you played.

Of course, if you don’t agree with any of this, I’m sorry you feel that way! No, seriously… I’m sorry. I invite you to drop me a note to let me know about your most effective apologies.

How Your Core Values Relate to Thanksgiving

As we move into the holiday season, it’s a good time to reflect upon what values drive you -- as an individual, and as a businessperson. Common ones I hear often from clients include faith, family, integrity and freedom.

Our values are reflected in our company through its culture. Every business has its own unique culture. You can build your culture intentionally by declaring and living and behaving against a set of core values or you can find it built for you, with a set of behaviors that your employees interpret as defining your values.

If your culture doesn’t reflect your core values, it’s time to change it so that it better represents what’s important to you. If it does, congratulations! Now, how can you institutionalize those so that they exist beyond your time with the company? Those core values need to be reflected in your succession plan and in the leaders to whom you entrust your business and your legacy.

I recently had a conversation with a former owner who had sold his business but was still employed there in a leadership role. He was so frustrated. “They eliminated the culture,” he told me. “I worked so hard to build a culture into this organization, and now there’s none. Gone”

I replied, “Oh, believe me – there IS a culture in the business…It’s just not the one you invested 30 years building.”

So in this season of Thanksgiving, a time for giving thanks, take some time to acknowledge and recognize the employees, customers and vendors who have demonstrated the values you hold dear, who have helped you build your business, and who have built a business culture that reflects what matters most to you.

Thank You! for being a meaningful part of my life this year, and for inviting me to be a meaningful part of yours. May 2017 bring you and yours much joy, good health and continued prosperity.