I'm Stuck! Six Ways to Release the Glue

We feel stuck for many different reasons, but when you boil it all down, most ‘stuckness’ comes down to some form of fear. It might look like overwhelm or denial or uncertainty, but at the root, it’s a form of fear. We are afraid. We don’t like to talk about being afraid, so we make excuses to externalize our fear. It’s not the right time to act. We haven’t figured out our plan yet. We need to gather more data. The economy is weak. Blah blah blah. These excuses serve to keep us even more ‘stuck’ because they allow us to justify why we are not acting. The problem… we are still stuck. If you are stuck, try one of the following actions and see if it helps you take even a baby step forward. Three baby steps give you one full step, so let’s get started:

1.       Remind yourself of what the compelling opportunity is if you were to move forward. What have you got to gain?

2.       Evaluate the real consequences of taking action now. It might not be as risky as you think.

3.       Brainstorm alternatives that reduce the risk – even crazy ones can show you a path forward, or can demonstrate that your current situation isn’t really that risky.

4.      Talk to someone who has taken this risk or a similar one and find out how they did it. Maybe you can apply some of their lessons learned to your situation, or maybe you can increase your confidence in yourself.

5.      Ground yourself in the wisdom and experience you bring and remind yourself that you have overcome many challenges before. Tap into the strengths that enabled you to do those and you may find they apply here too. 

6.      Go away. Really! Get out of your current environment and get some fresh perspective. Stop thinking about where you are stuck and immerse yourself somewhere new and different. Even for an afternoon. Get a cup of coffee downtown if you work in the burbs. Get a cup of coffee in the burbs if you work downtown.

Appraise the Value of Your Compliments

“The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.”                                                                                                                                                 -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I couldn’t agree more. Now, that doesn’t mean I am advocating that we all take a page out of Scrooge’s handbook and bring “Bah-humbug” back onto the scene...

Why flood your market with ‘atta boys’ and ‘good job’ compliments? It’s not that they are not sincere. I am sure you mean that ‘good job’, but what does ‘good job’ really mean? To preserve the value of your compliments, it all comes down to whether or not they are specific enough that the receiver really understands what you are complimenting --  and whether people can really trust that what you are saying is true and free of a personal agenda.

Sincere and specific compliments are hard work. Most people won’t bother. Finding the right words to describe specifically what you appreciated or valued in someone else’s actions is not easy. It requires paying enough attention to note the behaviors and then finding the words to describe them with the sincerity you feel.

Every time you give someone the gift of your words, remember, the quality of the gift you give is a direct reflection of the quality of character you have.

Let’s stop accepting or giving gold plated placations …

and instead strive to give the kind of compliments that are so specific and tangible that they are remembered forever.

Who will you give a sincere and specific compliment to today?

Time For A Change

            As humans we are biologically and evolutionarily wired to fear change, but change can be a positive thing, especially if you are not happy with your current situation.

            More often than not we stay put when we aren’t happy due to our need for stability. And while there is nothing wrong with stability, there is something wrong with doing something you don’t enjoy as you approach the latter part of your career. So how do you know when it is time to move on?

            Being financially stable or gathering experience in order to further your career might be good reasons to keep working at a job that you don’t enjoy, but as you reach the end of your formal career, and your work stops serving your needs it may be time to move on. Here are a few signs to look for when you are rethinking your exit timing:

            -Are you continuing to learn? If you are not being challenged or learning something new and useful most days, it could be time to find a new challenge or move on.

            -Are you working at your optimal level? Your years of experience may afford you a lighter workload, but if you find yourself underperforming or getting distracted too easily you could be bored and ready to move on. Finding or creating something a bit more intellectually stimulating could be the answer to curing these particular blues.

            -Do you feel unappreciated? Oftentimes we feel like we give and give and give but receive nothing in return. If you feel that your employees, your customers, your suppliers are not appreciative of what you provide, it’s either time to speak up or maybe you are getting jaded.

            -Do you get frustrated more quickly with your executive team or key employees? Unfortunately your leaders can make or break your enjoyment. Getting past petty squabbles or a general dislike for someone can be difficult, but if your executive team members are the main stressors in your business, it could be time to move on. And there is no shame in that. Finding a meaningful and rewarding what’s next, where you fit in and feel valued is of the utmost importance. Just don’t forget to give others the benefit of the doubt.

            You have the power to take charge and change your life for the better. You know when the time will be right to move on. Finding out what serves your purpose in life is extremely important, and finding an outlet for that passion is what will make you ultimately happy in both your career and your life.