How do you respectfully end a professional relationship? (Copy)

Whether you are a long time member who is ending your Rotary club membership, or you are ending your relationship with a service provider that you’ve been working with for years, the way you choose to exit sends a clear message.

So how do you leave graciously? How do you do your best to make it a respectful ending?  

If you are leaving because you are angry, frustrated, disappointed or resentful, it would be easy to imagine the satisfaction of storming out in a tirade, or preparing an elaborate speech of how you’ve been wronged, or just slinking away in the middle of the night. While it might feel good in the moment, it probably won’t ultimately reduce your negative feelings or resolve the issue that got you worked up in the first place, nor will it likely
reflect well on you.

Instead, you might take a moment to clarify the real issue. Was there a problem with the service you received? Did you feel disrespected by the staff/leader? If you can identify the real issue, you can then decide how to communicate your exit. Whether to politely express your dissatisfaction live -- or drop them a short note communicating why you are exiting. Simply disappearing is certainly an option. You don’t owe the provider an explanation, but I would argue that if it is a relationship you have invested in – getting closure is useful.

Often we don’t do any of those. We don’t state our dissatisfaction because we don’t think it resolves anything, and we don’t move on and let it go. But stating our dissatisfaction can resolve something – it can resolve your pent up emotions. Expressing your emotions in an appropriate and very professional way can allow you to release them. It may not change the outcome, but it can change how you feel about the outcome and sometimes that is the most important! 

It’s respectful to offer closure in the relationship. If you’re simply ready to move on, you might send a thank you note for the value you’ve received or for the importance of the relationship. If you found a better provider for your needs, why not thank them for the support they’ve given you in the past and let them know why you are leaving? Sharing your reasons does carry risk – we never know how it will be received, but if you are
respectful, professional and caring, it can offer them insight into what mattered most to you and maybe give them some valuable perspective on how they might adjust their service for others in the future. 

So why wouldn’t you take these steps? Because they’re hard! They’re uncomfortable. We don’t want to take a risk that we’ll hurt someone’s feelings or anger them. And that worry is warranted. You probably will
hurt their feelings or anger them, but if you do it with good intent, to respect or value the relationship, and you do it with respect and care, it can build the relationship too. At the very least, you can look yourself in the eye and say ‘I did what was right.’

Abby