It’s Not Personal; It’s Personality

Don’t take anything personally.

Easier said than done; I know.

I used to waste a lot of time internalizing the actions of others. The best realization I have made in my career and ultimately in my life is that I can’t control what other people do. I can only control what I do. I made an intentional and strategic choice many years ago: to try really hard to stop taking things personally.

Here’s the wake-up call: it’s not about you.

No one thinks about you more than you think about you. Stop assuming that you are the main motivator of other people's actions; you’re not. They are reacting to and dealing with their own “stuff”…not you.

The best place to start your journey of not taking things personally is to educate yourself about yourself.  Invest in learning about yourself. One way to do that is to invest in personality and style assessments. These assessments are designed to provide insight and self-awareness about your preferences and style. Do you prefer to be the life of the party, or skip the party? Do you prefer to dive into the details or do the details wear you out? Start with yourself, then encourage your colleagues to invest in learning about themselves. Improved communication is a guaranteed result.

Ready to get started? Reach out to us for more information on the assessments that would be most meaningful for you.

abby@leadershiplegacygroup.com

The 3 Elements of Communication

We communicate using words, body language and tonality.

When you are on the receiving end of a message, what element do you think provides you with the most information?

Allow me to answer a question with a question:

Have you ever asked a colleague how their day was going and they replied “fine” in a flat voice with their arms crossed?  You don’t believe them for a second!

Body language and tonality tell us way more about what is truly being communicated in a message than the words themselves. Broken down into percentages:

• Body Language accounts for 58% of a message
• Tonality accounts for 35% of a message
• Words account for 7% of a message

I was recently teaching a workshop on networking, and a participant asked if social media networking was more effective than person to person networking. My Marketing Director responded with:

“If you don’t have an actual network, you don’t have a social network.”

I couldn’t agree more. Think about it. We completely lose body language and most of tonality when we communicate via email, or on LinkedIn. 93% of our ability to communicate the nuances of our messages flies out the window. Computers are a great tool to help share information, but it is not the ideal tool to foster meaningful relationships. There is no replacement for face to face contact with your network.

Which reminds me, if you are getting ready to retire or sell your business and you have found value from my blog…you have only tapped into 7% of with The Leadership and Legacy Group has to offer. Call me at 336.458.9939 to get the next installment of 35% of what we have to offer, and schedule an in person meeting to get the final 58% of the value we could bring to planning your next phase in life.

Drive the Conversation with Great Questions

Stop making small talk by chit chatting about the food and the weather.

It’s not that these topics don’t make for pleasant conversation…there’re just not strategic.

If you are attending a networking event to build relationships, it is wise to go about it strategically.

Assess who you want to meet and why?

Figure out what you want to talk to them about and prepare your questions.

If you're thinking, "Questions? Don’t I want to tell them all about me and my business? I know I can help them!"

Stop right there!

I’m going to let you in on a little secret...

the key to get anyone to engage in meaningful conversation...

the code to uncovering anybody’s favorite topic to talk about…

Are you ready for it?

Ask them meaningful questions about...themselves.

That’s right.

We all love to talk about ourselves. We want to be known and understood.

Yes, even the big Fortune 500 CEO’s.

Showing genuine interest in others enables you to ask better questions.

Asking better questions leads to more intriguing answers.

Hearing intriguing answers leads to increased engagement.

And increased engagement enables strategic listening.

Don’t aim to hear and reply. Aim to listen and engage.

Have an ear for fostering mutually beneficial connections.

What are your favorite questions to ask at a networking event? Which questions do you most like to be asked?