Tip# 66: How’s the Balance in Your Emotional Bank Account?

The best way to use 128 Tips to Make You a More Effective Leader is to treat  each page like a bite-sized break in your day.

Sixty seconds is all it takes to make changes that matter.

Today, your bite-sized break comes in the form of Tip # 66: How’s the Balance in Your Emotional Bank Account

"I’ve always enjoyed Stephen Covey’s concept of the emotional bank account. For each person you know, you make deposits in the account by sharing kindnesses and keeping your commitments. You take withdrawals by being disrespectful, discourteous or untrustworthy. How are the account balances in the accounts that matter most to you?

Take some time today to make a few deposits in the accounts you care most about.”

Our actions affect the account balances others have for us… AND our actions affect the balances we maintain in our personal accounts too.

I like to think of it like this: all of us have a joint account with Karma, or good deeds or whatever word characterizes that concept best for you.

• When our positive actions make deposits in the emotional bank accounts of those around us, Karma pays dividends. (And --it just feels good!)

• When our negative actions make withdrawals from the emotional bank accounts of those around us, Karma charges income tax. (and that usually feels bad – maybe not right away, but eventually)

Here’s the tricky part -- although we do our part to make deposits:

Making deposits for the sole purpose of soliciting your Karmic return….? Risky!

Counting on your Karmic return to be punctual? Also risky.

So why deposit? Because we all need kindnesses and we all need people we can count upon to keep their commitments. Whether you believe in Karma or not, deposits enhance our lives and the lives of those around us.

Make your deposit today. 

Do You Have a Good Elevator Speech?

Okay. I am going to put you on the spot:

How long is the average person’s attention span?

A:  7-15 seconds!

Yikes… I’d better hurry up and cut to the chase:

When you get asked the inevitable question: “What do you do?” Do you have a good answer?

Remember, it’s about quality not quantity.  You need a 30 second elevator pitch that you know like the back of your hand. Within the first 15 seconds people will decide whether they will actually pay attention to the next 15 seconds…or if they will just politely zone out. We’ve all seen it! The dreaded "faux face":

• head slightly slanted to the side
• insincere half smile
• distant eyes
• that slow constant nod

Stop subjecting yourself to that! You can do this! Your intro should leave people wanting more. Keep it short and enticing! State your name, your company, who you serve, and what problems you solve or what uniquely differentiates you from everyone else who sounds like they do what you do. It’s as simple as that!

Challenge yourself to perfect your 30 second elevator speech this week. Heck! Practice in the mirror if you need to. Time yourself! When you are ready, try it on an actual human.

11 Ways to Say No

"No" is a complete sentence.

Sometimes it seems like the only thing we are capable of saying ‘no’ to…is saying ‘no’.  Your time is valuable. Are you investing it, or throwing it away? Every time you say yes to something you don’t want, you are saying no to what you do want. Utilize these 11 ways to say no and take back control of your schedule :

1. The “Just say” no:  Need I say more? You don’t have to either…
2. The “I wish I could” no: This doesn’t necessarily need to be true, but it will help cushion the blow
3. The “I’m sorry” no: Short and sweet and back to your day
4. The “It’s not my decision” no: You don’t always have to take the heat
5. The “Other priority” no: You don’t need to be specific, just be clear
6. The “Referral” no: Identify another resource avenue
7. The “I’m booked” no: Let your schedule take the responsibility for your decision
8. The “Overwhelmed” no: Having too much on your plate is a perfectly valid reason not to commit to yet another request
9. The “Delayed” no: Buy time to make a decision. Don’t take so long that you lead the person on
10. The “Partial” no: Select what you can do, and commit only to that. Make sure you don’t commit to an inch and end up giving a mile
11. The “Stealth” no: Return a call when you know you have a good chance of being greeted by a voicemail recording

(This list is adapted in part from Work Less, Make More—Stop Working So Hard and Create the Life You Really Want, by Jennifer White.)

Keep a tally of how many requests you get this week. What is your “no” ratio? Challenge yourself each week to improve your score until your schedule has consistent breathing room.  You need enough time left in your schedule to fit in a life!